5 Everyday Habits That Make Social Anxiety Worse (and What to Do Instead)

Small shifts that can help you feel more confident and less overwhelmed in social situations

By Lindsey Keyser Ball, LPC, ATR-BC Licensed Therapist | Specializing in Adult Social Anxiety Serving Lansing, MI and Phoenix, AZ, and offering online therapy statewide

If you're someone who feels anxious in social situations—overthinking conversations, dreading small talk, or worrying about how you're perceived—you're not alone.

Social anxiety can be draining, and while therapy is a powerful way to work through it, some of the most impactful shifts start with your everyday habits.

Many people unintentionally reinforce their anxiety through small, subtle behaviors that seem harmless but actually keep the fear alive. The good news? Once you’re aware of these patterns, you can start making gentle changes that lead to big relief.

1. Avoiding Eye Contact

Why it makes anxiety worse: Avoiding eye contact may feel safer, but it sends a message to your brain that social interaction is dangerous. Over time, this reinforces the fear instead of helping you grow through it.

Try this instead: Practice soft eye contact—look at someone’s nose, forehead, or between their eyes. Gradually build tolerance for brief eye contact, especially with people you trust. It’s a skill you can strengthen over time.

2. Replaying Conversations in Your Head

Why it makes anxiety worse: Ruminating on what you said (or didn’t say) keeps your nervous system in a heightened state and trains your brain to believe something went wrong—even when nothing did.

Try this instead: When you catch yourself overthinking, say to yourself: “That conversation is over. I handled it the best I could in that moment.” Then gently redirect your focus to something grounding, like your breath or surroundings.

3. Using Your Phone as a Social Shield

Why it makes anxiety worse: While checking your phone in a crowd or during a lull in conversation can ease the momentary discomfort, it also robs you of the chance to build confidence in tolerating social pauses.

Try this instead: Give yourself a goal: “For the next 5 minutes, I’ll keep my phone in my pocket and observe what’s around me.” Notice colors, sounds, or people’s interactions—grounding in the present can help reduce anxious spirals.

4. Rehearsing Every Word Before Speaking

Why it makes anxiety worse: When you script everything in your head, it puts extra pressure on conversations to go “perfectly.” This leads to more anxiety, not less.

Try this instead: Give yourself permission to speak imperfectly. Social connection is built on authenticity, not performance. Practice saying things as they come, and trust that it’s okay to pause, stumble, or rephrase—everyone does.

5. Avoiding Social Situations Altogether

Why it makes anxiety worse: The more you avoid, the more anxiety grows. Avoidance may offer temporary relief, but long-term, it strengthens the fear and shrinks your comfort zone.

Try this instead: Use graded exposure—start small. Chat briefly with a barista, attend a short group event, or join a casual meetup. Celebrate tiny wins, and remember: every time you face the fear (even a little), your brain learns you're safe.

You Can Rewire the Pattern

These habits aren’t signs of weakness—they’re survival strategies your brain created to protect you. The goal isn’t to be perfect in social situations. It’s to feel more free, more grounded, and more connected—one small change at a time.

In therapy, we work together to:

• Understand the why behind your anxiety

• Rewire unhelpful thought patterns

• Practice real-world skills in a safe, supportive space

Ready for Support?

If social anxiety is getting in the way of your relationships, career, or self-confidence—I can help. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

👉 Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation Let’s talk about how therapy can help you feel more like you—in social situations and beyond.